Santa’s Advice

SantaCon will be a long day of merriment, so be prepared. Here are tips to stay jolly through the day:

1. Eat. Santa is responsible for his own feeding. Buy some jianbìng from that vendor over there.

2. Stay hydrated and pace yourself. Drink water in between your milk and cookies.

3. Bring a subway card. Santa doesn’t like waiting while dozens of drunks attempt to use the machines.

4. Santa is responsible for his own inebriation. SantaCon is not an open bar crawl — it’s a convention. With bar stops.

5. Pay for your own drinks. Be nice to the bar staff, and they’ll be nice to you.

6. Dress warm. Beijing winter weather can be brutal. Wear layers so you’ll be comfortable anywhere from the North Pole to the strippers’ pole.

7. Stay with the group. There is strength in numbers…oh what greatness a group of Santas can achieve (or get away with)!

8. Don’t be “that” Santa. Your friends want to have fun, not babysit you, scrape vomit out of your beard or prevent your wasted ass from stumbling in front of a bus.

9. Bring small gifts – NAUGHTY gifts to give adults; NICE gifts to give kids. Candy, stickers, hugs, mistletoe are all good options.

10. Santa doesn’t drink and drive and neither should you. If you’re going to drink you must make sure that you can get safely back to the North Pole without driving your own sleigh.