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Santa’s Answers

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Santa often gets asked the same questions. So here are the answers that s/he always gives in response:

Q: What is Santacon?
A: SantaCon is a non-denominational, non-religious and non-sensical celebration of all things Santa! People get dressed up in their finest holiday fare and join together for a festive day out on the town!

Q: When is Santacon?
A: This year it’s on Saturday, December 13! Sleighs take off at 11:30am and won’t come down until the wee hours!

Q: Where does SantaCon start?
A: There are dozens of cities around the world celebrating SantaCon (see a list here), but in Beijing there will be multiple starting points: in Wudaoku, Gulou and Shuangjing. The exact locations will be announced the night before on this space and on Twitter, Facebook, Weibo and WeChat. At some point during the day the groups will converge and become a truly Holly & Jolly flashmob of Santa-y fun!

Q: How will I know where to go?
A: Once you get to the starting point, just follow the crowd! If you’re going to be a late Santa, details on the next stop will be sent from the North Pole whenever it’s time to move. The Messages will go out via Twitter, Facebook and Weibo. Santas will also be checking in wherever they go. Just follow the hashtag #BJSantaCon and you won’t be left out. Finally, lots of good little boys and girls have been getting added onto Santa’s “Nice” List on WeChat. Find a friend who’s on the list to get added and you’ll get copied on Santa’s messages during the day!

Q: Do I really need to wear a costume?
A: Yes.

Q: What if I don’t have a costume?
A: Get online and buy one! Santa has heard that his Workshop’s main competition in China is something called “Taobao”. That’ll probably work. Or hit up the markets around town. Santa’s Helpers will be selling some one-size-fits-all Santa costumes at all of the starting points, but they’ll be first-come, first-served. All proceeds from costume sales will go to support Bethel China.

Q: Who is organizing this year’s SantaCon?
A: Santa

Ho-Ho-Ho Beijing Ren! Just 6 days until SantaCon!!

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Without rules there is chaos, and who wants chaos to ruin everybody’s good time?

With the big day coming this weekend, it’s important to let everybody who is looking forward to participating know about Santa’s Rules for SantaCon:

1. Santas look like Santa

It’s called “SantaCon” for a reason, folks. Don’t be that lone party pooper who shows up in civvies. If you can’t find a costume on your own there will be a **limited** number of one-size-fits-all costumes for sale at all starting points, but you really should arrive prepared. Get onto Taobao, go to a local market. If you can’t find a Santa costume, or if that seems boring, get creative! Holiday elves are welcome! Santa needs Reindeer! There was even a couple who dressed up a gifts to each other one year. Anything goes, so long as it’s Holly and Jolly! Just don’t show up without having tried. That’ll get you onto Santa’s “Naughty” list.

2. Remember the Four Fucks:

Don’t fuck with kids – Santa loves kids, and kids love Santa. Taking pictures and handing out treats is good. Teasing or inappropriate lap-sitting is most definitely not.

Don’t fuck with Santa – Santa is a jolly old elf, so be jolly. Don’t be a dick. Treat every Santa the same way that you want to be treated.

Don’t fuck with Security – Because they will call the police! We want to spead good cheer to the places that we visit, not make them regret inviting us to come.

Don’t fuck with the Police – Because they will arrest your ass. Be a fucktard on your own time. Not when the rest of us are around. If you get arrested, you’re on your own. When they ask you to leave, BE NICE, and do as you’re told. (Ask some veteran Santas about our scare on Tiananmen Square a few years back!)

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3. Remember, the answer is: “Santa!”

It’s very important how we deal with the public, private security, and most importantly, the media. If asked, this is how you should answer:

What’s your name? SANTA
Who’s in charge? SANTA
Who are you with? SANTA
What organization are you with? SANTA
Who organized this? SANTA
Who just puked in that trashcan? SANTA

There are folks who figure honesty is the best policy and that’s fine. The above statements are true. If you’re on one of Santa’s WeChat lists, feel free to add friends who want to come along, but…

Don’t point out someone
Don’t give out a name
Don’t supply an e-mail address
Don’t hand out a phone number

Dumb stares are easy. If you can’t be clever, don’t be a rat. You don’t know anything. You just showed up in your Santa suit. You heard about it but don’t remember. People work hard to pull this shit together. The least you can do is act dumb and cover their butt in case of trouble. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN CONDUCT.

Finally, please remember that SantaCon isn’t just about having fun this year, it’s about creating something nice for our city and making sure that we can continue to hold this happy event in Beijing for years to come, so do your best to stay on Santa’s “Nice” list!

SantaCon is Coming to Town!

Its that time of year again, Beijing! Time to dust off your Holly Jolly and start getting your Joy an Ode-ing. Santa has sent word to his elves, SantaCon will happen on Saturday, December 13!

SantaCon is the global non-denominational, non-religious and totally non-sensical celebration of all things Santa! Beijing Ren will join fellow revelers all across the world in donning their finest Santa suits and walking around the city, spreading good cheer and partaking in the milk, cookies and libations that wil abound the route.

Follow this space for updates, as in the coming days Santa will be giving out sage advice on how to best prepare for the party, tips on ways to have the most fun and, most importantly, where to go.

There will be multiple starting points in varous locations around Beijing, with a central meeting point for all Santas to converge on. There will also be a final celebration with a legendary local band that everybody will love.

Follow Santa here, on Twitter and Facebook and keep your eyes peeled for posts from your friends on WeChat. Help spead the word and we’ll see you all Ho-Ho-Ho-ing on December 13th!!